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Love in Your Later Years: 100 Sex and Dating Tips for Seniors
October 29, 2008
Dating among the senior set is becoming more popular thanks to online dating sites for retirees and a more liberal acceptance of senior sexuality. Seniors may have a lot of experience under their belts, but they’re also up for new adventures and relationships. This list of 100 sex and dating tips is just for seniors, from the casual dating crowd to grandmas looking for love.
Getting Back in the Game
Dating again after a divorce, death or just a long slump can be overwhelming. There are new rules to the game, but that doesn’t mean you have to be left out. Check here for tips on getting back on your feet.
No excuses . Don’t cheat yourself of love in your later years by telling yourself that you’re too old or too out-of-date to have a good time. You don’t have to be the cutting edge serial dater you were in your 20s, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to find someone who makes you happy.
Remember how much fun you used to have . Get out of the house and surround yourself with friends and contemporaries when you’re feeling low.
Start off slow . Ease yourself back into dating by attending group events at community centers you’re familiar with.
Don’t overdo it . Staying out all night or all weekend may have been easy back in the day, but keep yourself in check when you’re first starting to date again.
Dating After Loss of a Spouse . Read Elaine Williams’ blog entry about grieving for a spouse and understanding when you’re ready to move on.
Be open minded . The rules may have changed a bit since you were dating, so be open minded about modern dating etiquette .
Stay true to yourself . You’ve kept your morals and your opinions this long, so don’t sacrifice everything you know for a new beau.
Don’t abandon your past . If you’re afraid that a new boyfriend or girlfriend will make you forget your family or past relationships, have a discussion with that person to let them know that you’ll always remain close to your past and that a new relationship doesn’t entail leaving them behind.
Don’t take it so seriously . Getting back in the game can be nerve wracking at first, but just remember to have fun, explore your options and stay true to yourself.
Moving On After a Relationship Break-Up . This article offers more tips for moving on to another relationship after a break-up, divorce or even the death of a loved one.
The Internet is a place many modern singles turn to find dates, including seniors. Read below for safety tips, advice on creating your own profile and more.
100 Top Dating Sites . Find reviews of many different online dating sites here.
Online Dating Safety Tips . Before you create your online profile, consider these safety tips.
Tips to Increase Your Online Dating Success . You’ll find helpful tips in this article, which explains how to set up your profile, picking a photo and more.
SeniorFriendFinder . Consider joining a network like this one, which caters to the over 50 set.
Tips for Writing Your Personal Online Dating Profile . From picking a username to knowing how to flatter yourself, this guide can be very useful when starting an online dating profile.
A Match Made on the Web? . If you’re still not convinced, read this CBS News article about how single seniors are turning to online dating to meet new friends.
Skype . Skype, a video and online telephone service, can keep you connected to your friends and partners around the world. Skype can also be a great tool for getting to know someone you met online without having to commit to a real date.
Meebo . Meebo is another great tool for socializing online with long-distance partners. Meebo is free to use and lets you chat from any computer through your instant message client.
Meetup . Join this social networking group to find out about events and clubs in your area. You can browse by city and/or interest area.
Get a webcam . Sneak a peek at what your online friends really look like when you chat via webcam .
Dating in the 21st Century
Learn all about modern dating rules and etiquette here. Don’t worry, though: not everything’s changed.
What’s a Modern Girl to Do? . Maureen Dowd considers the evolution of courtship and how modern women view relationships in this New York Times article.
The Modern Guy’s Guide to Dating Etiquette . Do single women still like the man to pay for everything or not? Find out how rules like this one have been brought up to date here.
Seniors learning the modern dating game . Seniors can get tips on meeting dates and more in this article.
Dating Etiquette: When to Whip Out Your Wallet . This article considers "old fashion ideas" and new rules for "when it comes to men and money."
Modern Dating Made Easy . This article has tips for identifying red flags and avoiding people who take up too much of your time.
8 Rules for Casual Dating . Are you into the modern idea of casual dating? Find out here.
Places to Meet
At a loss for where to scope out your next date? Read below for our suggestions.
Community center . If you live in an assisted living facility but always stay in your room, venture out into the community center for social interaction.
The gym . The gym is a hot spot for meeting singles, and seniors are no exception. Get to know the people in your swimming or aerobics class to find out if there are any potential matches.
Grandkid’s recital . The next time you attend one of your grandchildren’s recitals or baseball games, check out the other grandparents in attendance. Anyone who’s there will share your passion for family.
Volunteering . This website can help you find a volunteer project in your area to occupy your extra time and connect you to other caring individuals.
Church or temple . Many churches and religious centers sponsor social groups for singles and/or seniors. Sign up to get on their mailing list and attend the next party or trip.
Continuing education class . Learn a new skill like cooking or review a math class you took in college to challenge yourself and meet someone new .
Dance class . From salsa to country western dancing to ballroom, dance class is a great place for people of all ages to get together.
Book club . Start a book club or join an existing one to broaden your social circle and find someone who can satisfy your intellectual curiosity.
Once you’ve found your date, take advantage of senior discounts and other advantages that will open up a new world of dating.
10 Great First Date Ideas . About. com’s Sharon O’Brien lists picnics, dancing and gallery hopping as great first date ideas for seniors.
The theater . It’s well air-conditioned, quiet, and usually offers comfortable seating. You may also be able to afford better seats now than you could in your younger years.
The movies . It sounds cliche, but you probably have way more time for movie dates now than you did when you had to find babysitters and work overtime.
Take a walk . Taking a walk with a date allows you time for conversation, and it gives you the opportunity to fit in a little exercise, too.
Daytime activities . If you like to be in bed early or you have trouble driving in the dark, turn date nights into all-day affairs. You’ll find that museums and movie theaters often offer cheaper rates for daytime visitors, and you can head to popular date locations without the crowds.
Senior citizen vacation . For convenience and safety’s sake, consider taking a vacation with a group of senior citizens. Packages range from the Greek islands to African safaris to weekend getaways in the country.
Romantic Getaway Ideas
As a senior citizen in 2008, you may be the last group of seniors to actually be able to enjoy your retirement and retrieve your Social Security. Take a vacation with your partner a deux or with a whole other group of adventurous retirees.
Caravan Tours . Caravan offers fully escorted tours to places like Costa Rica, New England and the Grand Canyon.
Greek-Holidays. net . Browse this site for special honeymoon packages and golfing vacations in Greece.
SeniorTraveler. com . Learn about hotel, car rental and other vacation discounts for seniors on this website.
ElderTreks. com . The over-50 set can take adventurous "off-the-beaten-path" vacations together through this organization. Destinations include Mongolia, the Antarctic Peninsula, Patagonia and Tanzania.
Smarter Travel Senior Travel . Find travel tips, vacation ideas and more advice for vacationing seniors.
Myrtle Beach . This beach and golfing town is popular with seniors who want to get away without overspending.
New Mexico . New Mexico has a lot to offer senior travelers: romantic sunsets, spas, golf vacations, museums and sightseeing, casinos, hiking and more.
Cruises . Sign up for a seniors-only cruise to explore exotic locations without having to organize everything yourself.
New England . New England Fall Foliage tours are immensely popular and can be a relatively stress-free way to escape.
Savvy Senior Travelers . Rick Steves shares his travel expertise with senior vacationers, from finding accommodating hotels, flights and travel insurance to figuring out where to go.
Sexual Health and Sexuality
Sex in your later years can still be a fulfilling, exiting experience; however, you’ll need to make sure you’re in overall good health to make the most of your sexuality.
The Taboo of Senior Sexuality . ThirdAge explores seniors’ attitudes towards sexuality.
Nine Health Issues That Can Impact Sexual Satisfaction . If you think your sex life is suffering, your overall health might not be in good order. Check these areas to find out.
Senior Sex . From senior sex therapy to Viagra, take a look at how senior sexuality is improving.
Have You Sworn off Dating? . Take this test "to find out just how healthy…your attitude toward dating is."
Sexy Senior Citizens . This piece explores why some seniors are happier with their sexuality than other generations.
Senior Sex: Tips for Older Men . This MSN article has tips for older male partners who want to regain control over their sexuality.
Sex and Aging . This piece encourages seniors to remain positive and research the sexual changes men and women experience as they get older.
HIV/AIDS Cases Growing in U. S. Adults Over 50 . Sexy seniors still need to remember to use protection in order to prevent STDs.
Sex After Menopause . Learn about the changes your body will undergo after menopause and what you can do to stay sexual.
Top 5 Reasons Sex Can Get Better With Age . If you think you’re passed your prime, think again. This list shares the best things about sex in your later years.
Safety Issues for Senior Daters
Unfortunately, there are plenty of scams and gold diggers out there waiting to take advantage of seniors. Learn how to protect yourself here.
Beware of scams . Some dating services and individuals using them prey upon other members to scam them out of money, separate them from their families, or worse.
Gold diggers . Gold diggers work their way into your life through flattery and superficial affection, but all they’re interested in is your savings. Learn how to protect yourself by reading this guide .
Stay grounded . If you haven’t dated in a long time, a new relationship can be exhilarating, but don’t abandon your everyday commitments and responsibilities, like medication, family and paying your bills.
Don’t share personal information to quickly . Just because someone seems sweet, don’t invite him or her into your home or share financial information with them right away, especially if they contacted you for a date.
When you’ve fallen in love again, will you feel like getting remarried or just dating? Consider these tips and articles first.
Some Seniors "Shacking Up" Rather Than Remarrying . This article reports a new trend among seniors who choose not to get remarried because of financial issues.
Senior Marriages . Get an overview of marriage in your later years here.
Divorce and Remarriage . Law for Seniors shares information about how your finances could be affected if you remarry.
Prenuptial Agreements for Seniors . Would a prenup for your second marriage benefit you? Find out here.
Remarriage After Retirement . This article explains how adult children may view their parent’s decision to remarry.
Is It Better to Remarry or Just Live Together? . This article considers things like estate planning, long-term care, Social Security and alimony when making the decision to remarry.
Dating with Illness or Disability
Being in a wheelchair or having an illness doesn’t have to hinder you from dating in your golden years. Read below for tips on dating with a special condition.
Disabled World . This dating service is for disabled and senior citizen singles.
Wheelchair Friendly Holidays . When planning a vacation with your partner, take these tips into consideration if one or both of you will need a wheelchair.
Dating with Breast Cancer . This piece may help you clear up your feelings about dating with a terminal illness.
Disability Sexuality and Dating . If you aren’t used to getting intimate since your disability, read these articles to understand your unique condition a little better.
Dating with Genital Herpes . Even seniors need to use protection: find out what it’s like to date with genital herpes if you don’t.
Talking to Your Family
Help your family get used to the idea of your dating or decision to remarry by considering the following points.
Take it slow . Don’t pressure your new partner and your children to be best friends right away: take the relationship slowly if you notice tension.
Talk to your family . If your family isn’t thrilled with your decision to date again, talk them through the process and help them understand why you’d like to meet new people. Listen to their feelings as well.
Understand that your family might be upset . Your adult children may find it difficult to get used to the idea of your remarrying, especially if your first husband or wife passed away.
How to Get Your Adult Children to Welcome (or even love) Your New Spouse . If you need advice on introducing your adult children to a new boyfriend or girlfriend, read this article.
Dating is always a risk, so don’t ever lose your sense of humor.
Keep yours . Dating as a senior can be nerve racking and full of surprises. Remember to keep your perspective and a sense of humor to make it fun.
Senior Dating: Who Says We Can’t Have Fun? . Check out these jokes and real-life personal ads from seniors.
Senior Sites to Visit
Head to these sites that are full of information and ideas for fun senior living.
Silver Citizen . Get dating tips, as well as plenty of advice and help for decorating, using computers, and more.
Senior Datefinder . If your social circle is small, log on to this site to find a date.
Senior Passions . Senior Passions is another dating site for seniors.
SeniorMatch. com . Singles who are over 50 can log on to this dating website.
AARP Leisure . You can find great vacation and date ideas on this site.
Senior Magazine . The website for this magazine features stories, news and articles about senior law, travel, computer tips, finances and more.
Senior. com . Senior. com is "your Internet community," and you’ll find plenty of ideas for growing relationships, travel and recreation and more.
Education, Jobs and Volunteerism for Seniors . Visit the links on this site to plan out a date or find a way to meet more singles.
Travel and Recreation for Seniors . This government site has tips on traveling and finding discounts.
Articles and Guides
Read these articles and guides for even more tips on romance and sexuality.
Seniors Dating . Learn about health issues, dating services and other seniors dating issues here.
Senior Dating . Suite 101 writer Cherie Burbach has great tips for "finding love after 50."
Suddenly Single Seniors and Dating . This article helps seniors get used to modern dating strategies like creating online profiles.
Ask April Advice for Retirees, Boomers, Seniors . April dishes up lots of dating tips and etiquette here.
How to Overcome First Date Anxiety . This helpful article is targeted at senior daters.
Senior Romance: Finding Love in Your Later Years . Get tips for planning a stress-free first date, finding singles and more from this piece.
Seniors and Sex . Learn about senior sexual oppression and how it hurts our aging population.
Senior Sex: Romance, Act Two . Canada. com’s article shares tips for spicing up your sex life despite the unique intimacy challenges you may face as you age.
Back in the Game: Smart Senior Dating Tips . You’ll find very helpful tips for figuring out what you want out of dating, managing a dating service account and more.
Senior Dating Interview: Dr. Helen Fisher . Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist and member of the anthropology department of Rutgers University, discusses how the concept of senior dating has changed and doles out advice to seniors interested in dating again.
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Online dating service
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Online dating ( OD ) or Internet dating is a personal introductory system whereby individuals can find and contact each other over the Internet to arrange a date. usually with the objective of developing a personal, romantic, or sexual relationship. Online dating services usually provide unmoderated matchmaking over the Internet. through the use of personal computers or cell phones. Users of an online dating service would usually provide personal information, to enable them to search the service provider's database for other individuals. Members use criteria other members set, such as age range, gender and location.
Online dating sites use market metaphors to match people. Match Metaphors are conceptual frameworks that allow individuals to make sense of new concepts by drawing upon familiar experiences and frame-works. This metaphor of the marketplace – a place where people go to “shop” for potential romantic partners and to “sell” themselves in hopes of creating a successful romantic relationship – is highlighted by the layout and functionality of online dating websites. The marketplace metaphor may also resonate with participants’ conceptual orientation towards the process of? nding a romantic partner. [ 1 ] Most sites allow members to upload photos or videos of themselves and browse the photos and videos of others. Sites may offer additional services, such as webcasts. online chat. telephone chat (VOIP ), and message boards. Some sites provide free registration, but may offer services which require a monthly fee. Other sites depend on advertising for their revenue. Some sites such as OKCupid, Plenty of Fish and Badoo are free and offer additional paid services in a freemium revenue model. [ 2 ]
Some sites are broad-based, with members coming from a variety of backgrounds looking for different types of relationships. Other sites are more specific, based on the type of members, interests, location, or relationship desired. A 2005 study of data collected by the Pew Internet & American Life Project found that individuals are more likely to use an online dating service if they use the internet for a greater amount of tasks and less likely to use such a service if they are trusting of others. [ 3 ]
Dating
Dating is a part of human mating process whereby two people meet socially for companionship. beyond the level of friendship. or with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or marriage. It can be a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by the couple. While the term has several meanings, it usually refers to the act of meeting and engaging in some mutually agreed upon social activity in public, together, as a couple.
History [ edit ]
Dating as an institution is a relatively recent phenomenon which has mainly emerged in the last few centuries. From the standpoint of anthropology and sociology. dating is linked with other institutions such as marriage and the family which have also been changing rapidly and which have been subject to many forces, including advances in technology and medicine. As humans have evolved from hunter-gatherers into civilized societies and more recently into modern societies, there have been substantial changes in the relationship between men and women, with perhaps the only biological constant being that both adult women and men must have sexual intercourse for human procreation to happen. [ 3 ]
Humans have been compared to other species in terms of sexual behavior. Neurobiologist Robert Sapolsky constructed a reproductive spectrum with opposite poles being tournament species. in which males compete fiercely for reproductive privileges with females, and pair bond arrangements, in which a male and female will bond for life. [ 4 ] According to Sapolsky, humans are somewhat in the middle of this spectrum, in the sense that humans form pair bonds, but there is the possibility of cheating or changing partners. [ 4 ] These species-particular behavior patterns provide a context for aspects of human reproduction. including dating. However, one particularity of the human species is that pair bonds are often formed without necessarily having the intention of reproduction. In modern times, emphasis on the institution of marriage, generally described as a male-female bond, has obscured pair bonds formed by same-sex and transsexual couples, and that many heterosexual couples also bond for life without offspring, or that often pairs that do have offspring separate. Thus, the concept of marriage is changing widely in many countries.
Historically, marriages in most societies were arranged by parents and older relatives with the goal not being love but legacy and "economic stability and political alliances", according to anthropologists. [ 5 ] Accordingly, there was little need for a temporary trial period such as dating before a permanent community-recognized union was formed between a man and a woman. While pair-bonds of varying forms were recognized by most societies as acceptable social arrangements, marriage was reserved for heterosexual pairings and had a transactional nature, where wives were in many cases a form of property being exchanged between father and husband, and who would have to serve the function of reproduction. Communities exerted pressure on people to form pair-bonds in places such as Europe ; in China. according to sociologist Tang Can, society "demanded people get married before having a sexual relationship" [ 6 ] and many societies found that some formally recognized bond between a man and a woman was the best way of rearing and educating children as well as helping to avoid conflicts and misunderstandings regarding competition for mates.
Learn Secrets Most Men Will Never Know About Women and Dating
Master Dating And Attraction Skills That Will Make You Rejection-Proof
Sign up for FREE membership and receive:
Exclusive Report: "The 10 Most Dangerous Mistakes Men Make With Women"
Techniques and word for word scripts to create lasting attraction
Articles and newsletters to help you date the kind of women you’ve always wanted
In my FREE Dating Tips Newsletter, You'll Learn:
The Private Man
Helpful Hint For A Woman’s Online Dating Profile
Since this page is proving so popular I urge you readers to learn about the one-on-one, phone-based dating and attraction advice I offer.
[This post has persistence. With that in mind, here are three other posts that directly addresses some of the dating challenges that women face: A Dating Exercise For Women. the Amazing Follow-up , and A Huge Dating Secret For Women. Enjoy]
I read so many online dating profiles that I get dizzy. The vast majority of women’s online dating profiles are completely and utterly generic: Walks on the beach, shopping, I’m fabulous, I love my dog, no games, family and friends are important. This goes on ad infinitum and ad nauseam. Such generic text does not speak well of a woman’s sense of honest introspection.
Worse, the photos are simply awful. Bad photos tell men that the woman really isn’t making much of an effort. Advice? Professional photographs. I mean that. Who is telling women that men are not visual? Is Oprah or Dr. Phil telling those lies? Someone needs a clue-by-four upside the head.
It’s been said over and over again: Women must bring something to the dating and relationship table if they want something more than just a short-term fling. Women are the gatekeepers of sexuality. The flip side of that is that men are the gatekeepers of commitment. In the long run, men hold the relationship power (most of them just don’t know it).
With this in mind, a good online dating profile must clearly spell out what a woman offers to her potential paramour and candidate for a committed relationship. Here’s another huge mistake that a woman makes – she describes herself in terms of what she wants in a man. This is where the strong and independent fallacy takes shape. A woman wants a strong and independent man so she incorrectly believes that a man wants a strong and independent woman. That is completely wrong. Men want a feminine women but one who is resilient and self-reliant. The feminine attracts the masculine.
As men are rational and logical creatures regarding dating, a woman should specifically state what she offers in terms of what a man actually wants. A list is not the stuff of romance unicorns and rainbows. But a woman must consider her audience. Logic and reason are masculine qualities and a woman must communicate to such an audience with her profile.
I’ll make it easy for the women with an example and format to use. My comments are in brackets. These are only examples. If a woman wants to use this example, she best do a serious inventory of what she offers a man.
Top 10 Reasons Why I Would Be Your Best Girlfriend Ever:
10. You will see me wearing sexy lingerie more than “comfortable” undies. [I think this is fairly obvious.]
9. You won’t hear me nag and complain because I don’t sweat the small stuff. [Men loathe nagging and complaining. It's sandpaper on our eardrums and on our brains.]
8. You will be proud to have me on your arm when we go out in public and your friends will probably be envious. [Dresses, skirts, high heels makeup, and good hair. A man wants to take pride in the woman on his arm.]
7. You will never, ever compete with me. [Men compete with each other, not the woman in his life. competitiveness is a masculine trait.]
6. You will be nicely surprised when I kiss you passionately at unexpected times and in unexpected places. [Affection helps to bond a man to you.]
5. You will never see me roll my eyes at you when you say something because I will respect you. [Men want respect and even small signs of disrespect will drive a man away from you. Try that shit in public and I advise the man to walk away immediately without regret.]
4. You will see my smile far more often than my frown. [Negative feelings are mostly unnecessary drama for men. As the Swedes say about a good woman - she should be happy, horny, and grateful]
3. You will find yourself thinking seriously about my observations on life and current events. [Many men won't well tolerate a woman who only knows shopping and reality TV.]
2. You won’t be holding my purse at the shoe store. You won’t even BE at the shoe store with me. [Do you see that bored chump in the shoe store holding his girl's purse? 'Nuff said.]
1. You rarely, if ever, hear these awful words: “I’m not in the mood”. [Deny sex too often and he will deny or break his commitment. Go ahead ladies, try it. If he still sticks around anyway then you will quickly learn to loathe him.]
Notice how these statements are structured with the personal pronoun “you” leading each one. The emphasis is on the guy, not the gal. An entitlement princess would never write such things. This kind of list should lead the profile to show what the woman offers in the context of dating and relationships.
As for the rest of the profile, that advice will come later. Let’s just say it isn’t a list of demands but a more creative way of expressing a woman’s preferences in a man.
Final Note – Consider the services of a professional dating coach. Seriously, I mean that.
