Dating older women

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Conjure up a fantasy woman in your mind; she's probably no older than 30. But if you're excluding older women from your dating pool, you might be missing out. Older women offer a completely different skill set (you know what we mean) and have more life experience.

Our dating expert partners at HowAboutWe suggest 7 reasons why you might want to date an older women. So if you're running into a wall in your current dating life, it might be time to think outside the box (or your age bracket).

Sample reasons:

She has her own life. You don't have to worry about entertaining an older chick 24/7. This means she won't be complaining to you that she's bored all the time, and she won't be in your space begging for attention. Also, you will have more to talk about because she's actually pursuing her own hobbies.

She can make you a better man. Sometimes dating older women is a learning experience. They'll tell you what they want in bed, pick out the restaurant for date night, and introduce you to all these classy spots for tapas or wine and cheese that you never knew existed.

Ready to get started? Check out these 5 secrets to dating older women .

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Society has long become more open to the idea of older man - younger woman relationship and older woman - younger man relationship as well. Hollywood has brought in the practice of successful older men looking for younger women. With actresses such as Catherine Zeta Jones marrying Michael Douglas with an age gap of 25 years and remarking it as 'Love sees no age limits'.

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Financial Stability

Older women are more likely to have built-up assets, including one or more homes, businesses and stocks. It can intimidate any man when a woman is worth more money than he is, and this is especially the case of a well-off older woman dating a younger man. The key to getting past this issue is seeing how you feel: If the woman does not hold her assets or success over your head or expect you at your young age to match her success, then there is nothing to worry about.

Property

Since they have had longer careers and more time to become financially stable, older women commonly own their own cars and homes. Younger men, especially those younger than 25, don't usually own much property. This can present an issue: Is the younger man just using the woman for what she has? The way to show your partner that you are in the relationship because you want her and not what she owns is to avoid accepting gifts or loans from her. Also, if you decide to move in together, you should be splitting the bills equally.

Maturity

Though each woman is different, older women are usually experienced when it comes to relationships and therefore don't like to play the "games" some younger women do. They don't typically go checking after their men to see where they're at, and they don't try to make their partners jealous in order to seek attention. Older women tend to know exactly what they want out of a relationship and are not afraid to make it known. Expect her to openly communicate her needs to you, and prepare to do the same--it is what mature adults do.

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7 Reasons Why You Should Want to Date an Older Woman

Dating an older woman is quite the rage these days. As a woman over 35, I’ve never felt more desired by men in their late 20s and early 30s than I do now—moreso even than when I was that age. So if you’re only seeking women in the 21-29 age range, let me tell you, you’re missing out. Big time.

Why are men so keen on dating more mature ladies? Pay no attention to the ol’ elbow-jabbing, wink-wink idea that cougars* are “more likely to put out and pay for everything.” Meh, that may be a reason a naive man attempts to score with an older lady, but it’s hardly the reason a smart man enters a relationship with one.

WHY TO DATE AN OLDER WOMAN

She’s got her own life. And by that I mean: her own career, her own friends, her own apartment, her own money. A 30-year-old man from Brooklyn told me these factors are what makes older women a turn on. “I find it comforting to know that her life goes on when I’m not around,” he said. (This is code for, “I dread clingy girls who abandon their own ships the moment we have sex, and set up camp on my shore.”) Also, the fact that an older woman has her own money means she likely worked hard to get it. Should you automatically go dutch or expect her to pay? No. In fact, you want to impress someone, treat a lady with some bank to a nice meal, because she appreciates exactly how much it costs.

She can hold her own . This ain’t her first rodeo. So when you take her out with your friends or coworkers, be it to a wedding or work event, you don’t have to worry she’ll perish without your constant attention. She’s been to enough of these things on her own to manage just fine while you’re talking to someone else. And, unlike the 23-year-old who gets tanked and throws shade at your ex, she’s got class. In fact, your ex will likely friend her on FB (like my old bf’s ex-wife did).

She knows what she wants—and doesn’t want . And at this point, she’s not afraid to say it. In the bedroom? Go ahead and try to shock her. Bondage? Bisexual encounters? Threeways? Role play? If she hasn’t tried it herself, she’s likely considered it. Plus, I’m talking about outside of the bedroom as well. You may buy into the idea that all older women are “desperate.” Granted, some are. (Some older men are too. And some younger women, And some etc. etc.) But many are not.** She’s choosier, and, unlike the 26-year-olds who think they’ll drop dead if they’re not engaged by 27, married at 28, and prego before 30, she’s looking at life a little differently now. This doesn’t mean she doesn’t want marriage/kids, because she might—but if so, she’ll be pretty clear about it up front. Since she’s got a little life on her (and maybe even a marriage in her past), she may not have the rigid checklist that a younger girl has. Most of the single women I know over 35 just want a good man, period.

She doesn’t move in a herd . I once went out with a young man from Queens who only dated older women because younger ladies, he found, couldn’t do a thing without checking in with 15 of their friends. When you date a younger woman, he said, you also date all her friends, and it’s “a pain in the fucking ass.” You can’t just go out and do your own thing because she must receive approval from a larger governing body. A slightly more mature lady has friends—but she sure as shit doesn’t need their permission to live her life.

She had sex before she had a FB profile. Hard as it may be to imagine a world before Facebook, the fact is, there was one—and I, along with many of my lady cohorts, lived in it. Given that we didn’t suckle at that digital teat so early on like Millennials, we’re not going to live and die by whether we change our relationship status. I even forget it’s there. Get this: I’m not even FB friends with the guy I’m currently seeing . I’ve found it refreshing. It retains a bit of mystery, and privacy, for now. I don’t need to be omnipresent, liking everything he says or does, and I don’t have to monitor what I say, worrying it’ll be taken a certain way. I did get a glimpse of his page when he left it open one day, and I did take a gander at his ex, but I found it so stressful that I closed out of it immediately. Try getting away with that with a 27-year-old.

She doesn’t need you; she wants you . If she’s gotten this far on her own, regardless of whatever relationships are behind her, she’s been through enough ups and downs to know she can handle just about anything. And she knows she won’t fall into a million pieces if she doesn’t have a boyfriend. But she would love one, for sure. And whereas younger women are putting you through the paces to see if you can provide her with a life, an identity, and a future, an older woman already knows who she is and what she wants to do—she’d just love someone to share it with.

She can make you a better man. A friend of mine dated a 40-year-old woman when he was 22 and new to New York. “She picked the restaurants, paid for things, took me places. She had access to a world I didn’t, and she had done all the things I hadn’t done yet,” he said. Now he’s in his mid 40s, and married with a kid, and remembers that relationship as critical to making him the man he is now. “As a dude, I’m told that I’m supposed to date girls my own age and take care of them, pay for dinner, and so on. But for that period of time, the roles were reversed. She had the power. And it felt great—who doesn’t want to be taken care of? That’s when I understood what it was to be in that role, to be someone’s bitch, essentially. And I could appreciate it when it was my turn to take care of someone else.”

*A note on cougars . The general consensus on cougardom is not so much a specific age as it is who you date. So, if you’re 35 and dating a 37 year old, yeah, not a cougar. But if you’re 35 and dating a 22 year old, ok, you might qualify. As might someone who’s 55 and dating a 30 year old.

**There is a caveat here: Older doesn’t always mean wiser. And someone who was impossibly needy at 25 may be even moreso at 35, especially if she hasn’t had the relationships she’s wanted. There is, however, some considerable perspective and confidence that comes with age, and the more evolved woman will exude it.

Terri Trespicio is a media personality & lifestyle expert. Visit her at territrespicio. com and follow her @TerriT .

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The Gist

Cougars have become quite popular since the film American Pie minted the acronym "M. I.L. F." (Matronly Individual Looking Fetching). While young men have always sought no-strings sex with ladies who can pay for their own meal, older women only recently took advantage, or at least stopped doing it covertly.

Although cougars still tend to lie about their age.

Discrimination wasn't holding older women back; most 21-year-old guys would have sex with a bandsaw if it was on the pill. No, it was only this decade that everyone realized how boring The Graduate is, liberating our minds of its message that the only way older women can be sexy is as villains.

Make no mistake; evil is sexy.

After that dam broke, social disapproval could no longer protect our young men from sexy senior seductresses. Anyone who's witnessed Spring Break knows when women decide to cut loose, they behave the way men only do in a particularly large prison riot. If Andy Dick daubed PCP off Michael Vick's nightstand with his flapping knife wound, things still wouldn't get as raucous as an eight-woman bachelorette party at P. J. McSwagger's, route 10, Wilmington, DE. Those dames treat wait staff the way a Viking Berserker treats skulls.

You won't believe your eyes. are now jelly in the back of your head!

So at some point, sucking the life out of the young was yanked from the list of activities society frowns on women for doing while congratulating middle-aged men in Camaros.

Don't expect a relationship with your cougar. Some folks may hit it off, start a family, and be cursed by the Lord for their hubris with birth-defected children, but most understand the beauty is it can't last. To put it another way -- if you thought your ex-girlfriend's wedding was awkward, imagine what it's like if you've performed a three-knuckle merengue in the bride's Sunday school teacher.

A Word of Caution

They're goddamn crazy.

On a scale of one to Lunacy, most cougars are "Bicycle Made of Babies."

We're not slagging them. Dates with older women can be really fun. We're just saying don't let them get your home address. If you can't protect yourself, you'd get safer kicks doing surgery at home to save money. The only thing comparable to a cougar for insanity, health-risk and awesometicity is the White Castle chicken ring.

Where to Meet Older Women

The comments section at the end of this article usually has some helpful spam.

At work - are you a pool boy or pizza delivery guy? Good news! As long as you can't break a $50, you're getting paid in SexBux! Just remember it's good form to shout "NNNOOOO!" when her cuckolded husband walks in on you two and shoots himself. The lunge to stop him is just for show, though.

Divorce court - Preying on the emotionally vulnerable can actually be good for them. Look at it this way: that's what they're telling themselves about you.

Cougar Night - Speed-dating for cougars saves time, but why pretend? Just have everyone trade notarized bills of health from the STD clinic.

Cougar Cruise - "There are already single cruises and seniors' cruises, so why not combine them?" an unscrupulous travel agent once asked as lightning crashed outside his laboratory. If the boat doesn't capsize from all the no-strings sex, we suggest the yacht be named "The Old Woman & The Sea." We also suggest its bulkheads be painted Purell.

Ben Franklin On (or Under) Older Women

Should you date a cougar? Why don't you let Ben Franklin answer that question? He was not only our wisest Founding Father, he was also our smoothest playboy. When Franklin fathered a whoreson bastard, that child grew up to be governor. When he issued legitimate progeny, a jealous God claimed the glorious baby for Himself.

Through invisible beings which we call angels.

At an age when most men's grandchildren would be dead of old age, he was fighting other suitors and gout with both hands to dip his wick in Parisian tallow, and that was when France had the only women in the world who bathed (once a month, same as now). He was also a master of electricity, the nanotech of the Enlightenment.

All this buildup is so you understand Ben had his pick at all walks of life. And who did he prefer? The Case for An Older Woman answers that rhetorical question. For a dude who preached equality, morality and temperance, he sure could craft a sexist screed. No wonder he was famous for his Maxims.

And for palling around with Kool-Ale Man

Brendan McGinley hands out free comics in New York, and his girlfriend is of legal drinking age.

Dating An Older Woman

Why would any man want to date an older woman? Well, older women are not only more mature, and financially independent, but they're also better lovers and usually won't mess with your head. These are just some of the positive aspects of dating an older woman.

It is quite typical, almost clich to see an older man with a much younger woman. It has become the standard that men date younger women, but we have yet to accept the idea of a woman dating a man much younger than her.

I am suggesting a reversal of the standard. It's time that men start realizing the benefits of dating older women. In general, we always complain that women don't know what they want and that they're high maintenance. Well why not change the standard for a while and try dating women that can appreciate real men that are givers instead of takers. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about an age difference of twenty-five or forty years. By older women, I'm talking about a maximum of maybe ten to twelve years.

a new experience

Of course, you'll never find a rose without a thorn. This means that in exchange for peace of mind, you have to be willing to accept some of the implications that come with dating an older woman. More often than not, however, the advantages overwhelmingly surpass the drawbacks.

good things

Experienced . Older women may not be as toned as they once were and they might not be quite as perky in the various spots they're supposed to be perky in, but it's amazing what an extra ten years of experience can teach you. They don't beat around the bush (they let you do that). They know exactly what they want and they will manipulate you physically and mentally to get it.

A man is terrible when it comes to taking the time and effort to figure out what a woman really wants. An older woman has learned not to waste precious time waiting for the man in the shining armor to sweep her off her feet. She has accepted that it "ain't gonna happen," and she will let you what to do and where to do it.