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*2012 U. S. survey conducted for eHarmony by Harris Interactive® online, very few will be compatible with you specifically, and it can be difficult to determine the level of compatibility of a potential partner through methods of conventional dating services – browsing classified ads, online personals, or viewing profile photos. Our Compatibility Matching System does the work for you by narrowing the field from thousands of single prospects to match you with a select group of compatible matches with whom you can build a quality relationship.

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Courtship

Contents

Duration [ edit ]

The average duration of courtship varies considerably throughout the world. Furthermore, there is vast individual variation between couples. Courtship may be completely omitted, as in cases of some arranged marriages where the couple do not meet before the wedding.

In the United Kingdom. a poll of 3,000 [ 1 ] engaged or married couples resulted in an average duration between first meeting and accepted proposal of marriage of 2 years and 11 months, [ 1 ] [ 2 ] with the women feeling ready to accept at an average of 2 years and 7 months. [ 1 ] Regarding duration between proposal and wedding, the UK poll above gave an average of 2 years and 3 months. [ 2 ]

Courtship traditions [ edit ]

While the date is fairly casual in most European-influenced cultures, in some traditional societies, courtship is a highly structured activity, with very specific formal rules.

In some societies, the parents or community propose potential partners, and then allow limited dating to determine whether the parties are suited. In Japan. there is a such type of courtship called Omiai. with similar practices called "Xiangqin" (??) in the Greater China Area .

Parents will hire a matchmaker to provide pictures and resumes of potential mates, and if the couple agrees, there will be a formal meeting with the matchmaker and often parents in attendance. The matchmaker and parents will often exert pressure on the couple to decide whether they want to marry or not after a few dates.

Courtship in the Philippines is one known complex form of courtship. Unlike what is regularly seen in other societies, it takes a far more subdued and indirect approach. It is complex in that it involves stages, and it is considered normal for courtship to last a year or longer. It is common to see the male showing off by sending love letters and love poems, singing romantic songs and buying gifts for the female. The parents are also seen as part of the courtship practice, as their approval is commonly needed before courtship may begin, or before the female gives the male an answer to his advances.

In more closed societies, courtship is virtually eliminated altogether by the practice of arranged marriages. where partners are chosen for young people, typically by their parents. Forbidding experimental and serial courtship and sanctioning only arranged matches is partly a means of guarding the chastity of young people and partly a matter of furthering family interests, which in such cultures may be considered more important than individual romantic preferences.

Over recent decades though, the concept of arranged marriage has changed or simply been mixed with other forms of dating, including Eastern and Indian ones; potential couples have the opportunity to meet and date each other before one decides on whether to continue the relationship or not.

Modern people [ edit ]

In earlier 1800s, young adults were expected to court with the intention of finding a marriage partner, rather than for social reasons. In America, in the 1820s, the phrase "date" was most closely associated with prostitution. However, by the Jazz Age of the 1920s, dating for fun was becoming a cultural expectation, and by the 1930s, it was assumed that any popular young person would have lots of dates. This form of dating, though, was usually chaster than is seen today, since premarital sex was not considered the norm. [ citation needed ]

Courtship in social theory [ edit ]

Courtship is used by a number of theorists to explain gendering processes and sexual identity. Scientific research into courtship began in the 1980s after which time academic researchers started to generate theories about modern dating practices and norms. Both Moore and Perper found that, contrary to popular beliefs, courtship is normally triggered and controlled by women, [ 3 ] [ 4 ] driven mainly by non-verbal behaviours to which men respond.

This is generally supported by other theorists who specialise in the study of body language. [ 5 ] There are some feminist scholars, however, who regard courtship as a socially constructed (and male-led) process organised to subjugate women. [ 6 ] [ 7 ] Farrell reports, for example, that magazines about marriage and romantic fiction continue to attract a 98% female readership. [ 8 ] Systematic research into courtship processes inside the workplace [ 9 ] [ 10 ] as well two 10-year studies examining norms in different international settings [ 11 ] [ 12 ] continue to support a view that courtship is a social process that socialises both sexes into accepting forms of relationship that maximise the chances of successfully raising children. Whilst this may negatively impact women, particularly those seeking independence and equality at work, [ 13 ] [ 14 ] it is argued that the majority of negative impacts accrue to men in the form of shorter life-expectancy, higher rates of suicide, alcoholism, homelessness and imprisonment. [ 15 ] [ 16 ]

Commercial dating services [ edit ]

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