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Speed dating
Speed dating is a formalized matchmaking process or dating system whose purpose is to encourage people to meet a large number of new people. Its origins are credited to Rabbi Yaacov Deyo of Aish HaTorah. originally as a way to help Jewish singles meet and marry. [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] SpeedDating . as a single word, is a registered trademark of Aish HaTorah. Speed dating . as two separate words, is often used as a generic term for similar events.
Contents
Organization [ edit ]
Usually advance registration is required for speed dating events. Men and women are rotated to meet each other over a series of short "dates" usually lasting from three to eight minutes depending on the organization running the event. At the end of each interval, the organizer rings a bell, clinks a glass, or blows a whistle to signal the participants to move on to the next date. At the end of the event participants submit to the organizers a list of who they would like to provide their contact information to. If there is a match, contact information is forwarded to both parties. Contact information cannot be traded during the initial meeting, in order to reduce pressure to accept or reject a suitor to his or her face.
There are many speed dating events now in the United Kingdom. Canada. and the United States. Requirements for each event vary with the organizer. Specific age range based on gender is a common restriction for events. Many speed dating events are targeted at particular communities: for example, LGBT people, polyamorists. [ 4 ] Christians. [ 5 ] Graduate student speed dating events are common. [ 6 ]
Practice [ edit ]
Some feel that speed dating has some obvious advantages over most other venues for meeting people, such as bars, discotheques. etc. in that everybody is purportedly there to meet someone, they are grouped into compatible age ranges, it is time-efficient, and the structured interaction eliminates the need to introduce oneself. Unlike many bars, a speed dating event will, by necessity, be quiet enough for people to talk comfortably. Speed dating is for singles.
Participants can come alone without feeling out of place; alternatively it is something that women who like to go out in groups can do together. [ 7 ]
Because the matching itself happens after the event, people do not feel pressured to select or reject each other in person. On the other hand, feedback and gratification are delayed as participants must wait a day or two for their results to come in.
The time limit ensures that a participant will not be stuck with a boorish match for very long, and prevents participants from monopolizing one another's time. On the other hand, a couple that decides they are incompatible early on will have to sit together for the duration of the round.
Most speed dating events match people at random, and participants will meet different "types" that they might not normally talk to in a club. On the other hand, the random matching precludes the various cues, such as eye contact, that people use in bars to preselect each other before chatting them up.
Online speed dating [ edit ]
Several online dating services offer online speed dating where users meet online for video, audio or text chats. The advantage of online speed dating is that users can go on dates from home as it can be done from any internet enabled computer. The disadvantage is people do not actually meet one another.
Scientific research [ edit ]
There have been several studies of the round-robin dating systems themselves, as well as studies of interpersonal attraction that are relevant to these events. Other studies found speed-dating data useful as a way to observe individual choices among random participants.
First impressions [ edit ]
A 2005 study at the University of Pennsylvania of multiple HurryDate speed dating events found that most people made their choices within the first three seconds of meeting. Furthermore, issues such as religion, previous marriages, and smoking habits were found to play much less of a role than expected. [ 8 ] [ 9 ]
A 2006 study in Edinburgh, Scotland showed that 45% of the women participants in a speed-dating event and 22% of the men had come to a decision within the first 30 seconds. It also found that dialogue concerning travel resulted in more matches than dialogue about films. [ 10 ]
In a 2012 study, researchers found that activation of specific brain regions while viewing images of opposite-sex speed dating participants was predictive of whether or not a participant would later pursue or reject the viewed participants at an actual speed dating event. Men and women made decisions in a similar manner which incorporated the physical attractiveness and likability of the viewed participants in their evaluation. [ 11 ]
Subconscious preferences [ edit ]
Malcolm Gladwell 's book on split-second decision making, Blink , introduces two professors at Columbia University who run speed-dating events. Drs. Sheena Iyengar and Raymond Fisman found, from having the participants fill out questionnaires, that what people said they wanted in an ideal mate did not match their subconscious preferences. [ 12 ] [ 13 ]
Olfaction and the MHC [ edit ]
A 1995 study at the University of Bern showed that women appear to be attracted to the smell of men who have different MHC profiles from their own, and that oral contraceptives reversed this effect. [ 14 ]
The MHC is a region of the human genome involved with immune function. Because parents with more diverse MHC profiles would be expected to produce offspring with stronger immune systems. dissimilar MHC may play a role in sexual selection.
A speed "date" lasting several minutes should be long enough for the MHC hypothesis to come into play, provided the participants are seated close enough together. [ citation needed ]
Olfaction and pheromones [ edit ]
The TV newsmagazine 20/20 once sent both a male and a female set of twins to a speed dating event. One of each set was wearing pheromones. and the ones wearing pheromones received more matches. [ 15 ]
Age and height preference [ edit ]
A 2006 study by Michele Belot and Marco Francesconi into the relative effects of preference versus opportunity in mate selection showed, while concluding that opportunity was more important than preference, that a woman's age is the single most important factor determining demand by men. [ 16 ] Although less important than it is to men, age is still a highly significant factor determining demand by women.
The same study found that a man's height had a significant impact upon his desirability, with a reduction in height causing a decrease in desirability at the rate of 5% per inch.
Selectivity [ edit ]
Studies of speed dating events generally show more selectivity among women than among men. For instance, the Penn study reported that the average man was chosen by 34% of the women and the average woman was chosen by 49% of the men. [ 8 ] New studies suggest that the selectivity is based on which gender is seated and which is rotating. This new study showed that when men were seated and the women rotated, the men were more selective. [ 17 ]
Spin-offs [ edit ]
The popularity or charm of speed dating has led to at least one offspring: Speed Networking. A structured way of running business networking events with the goal of making meeting potential business contacts easier and more productive. Some speed dating companies have now started offering free speed dating where you do not pay unless you meet somebody you like.
Business speed dating has also been used in China as a way for business people to meet each other and to decide if they have similar business objectives and synergies. [ citation needed ] Speed dating offers participating investors and companies an opportunity to have focused private meetings with targeted groups in a compact time frame.
1. Chinese Women Are Super Feminine and Sweet
They know that looking beautiful and being feminine is what gives them power and value in their culture (which I don’t personally agree with….I think people should be valued for their personalities and uniqueness). They leverage this as much as possible, which is necessary as typically girls can’t yet earn as much money as guys in Mainland China. Chinese girls have this particular thing they do called ?? (sa jiao is the pinyin for those of you awesome enough to be studying Chinese) which means to behave in a cutesy way, usually in a slightly immature way, to make the guy do what they want. Think of a girl trying to persuade a guy to go shopping with her but in a SUPER CUTE way using the way she speaks, expresses herself, flutters her eyes, etc.
In China, guys are more highly valued by their parents because when they get married they will stick around and look after their own parents. In old school China, the wife would join and look after the husbands family, as well. This is why, sadly, girls in China aren’t given enough credit for their awesomeness. Anyone who needs evidence of Chinese girls being awesome should go to Mix or San Li Tun village in Beijing, or just email me when you get to Shanghai. I’ll be around. and I’ll show you where we hide all the beautiful girls in Shanghai. You can get my email address from the footer of our home page.
In terms of being feminine and doing themselves up well, the Chinese certainly have competition – Hong Kong girls, Japanese girls, and, lastly, the Koreans are all vying for the top spot in Asia. But one thing Chinese girls excel at beyond all the others is sweetness. Chinese girls are really polite and sweet to those who treat them well – there isn’t much bitchiness or rudeness from them, though this can vary depending where you are in China… farmers are farmers, after all.
Also just for fun: Chinese girls usually have pretty decent bodies and faces, there are a large amount of average girls around….but this is pretty location dependent and also relates a bit to how rich the city is. The more money or prestige a city has the larger number of beautiful girls that will reside there. Girls from the north are tall and extremely delicate; their faces are rounder and slightly heart shaped. Girls from the south can be a little stockier but are still extremely good looking. While Every province in China says they have the most beautiful, I would say the best are in ChengDu simply because the girls there eat a lot of Chilli and that seems to do three very good things.
They have extremely beautiful soft skin.
The chilli comes through in their personalities and they are more playful than most other Chinese girls, reminding more of South American girls in some ways.
The girls in ChengDu have a fantastic body shape – in all the right spots – which again also reminds me a bit of South American girls.
Having said that though… I would say Chinese girls in general probably have the largest chest growth in Asia, which both them and I are happy about.
2. Chinese Women Are Characterized by Strong Gender Roles
Unlike the West, everyone has a pretty strongly defined sense of what men and what women should do. This is changing in the bigger cities, though, as more and more women are entering the work force and becoming more independent. But so far, the change is quite minuscule and usually women are only getting jobs to give their families face. Women’s roles in China typically are to rule over the household, spend/organize the husbands money (secret bank accounts are the norm), decide how and what the children study and to also keep herself beautiful. It’s a matriarchal set up and although it may seem that the men are in charge, by and large its actually the women who are in charge and they are just giving the men face.
As a Foreign guy you won’t usually have to deal with a lot of the drama or issues our Chinese counterparts do (I’d like to send my gratitude out to my Chinese boys), since typically girls who like foreigners also like to look after them as they’re in a foreign country and are usually lost and confused. I will say that Chinese girls from big cities are a bit different from girls from small cities. Right now, this very minute, my girlfriend (yes I have a girlfriend, who I am not currently fetishizing but may later, more than once, with the lights on) is cooking up some wonderful Chinese food for us, after which I will most certainly be expected to do the dishes. She is a big city girl and hates dishes… if she was from a smaller city then she would do all the domestic stuff and would consider me very weird or potentially sweet for helping her do it. So the further you get away from big cities the stronger the gender roles become. Deep in the wilds of China they would probably be equal to the gender roles of Thailand. Sometimes I get all warm inside when I’m allowed to be a man…
3. Chinese Women Are Excited about Western Culture
Chinese – Are – Excited. In the last decade or so China has gotten very excited about the West and that means that pretty much anything Western is cool, sort of. Western TV shows, English, every expensive brand of luxury item…the Chinese have it. A while back there were some big shifts in culture and that left a bit of a gap. Since then, a weird mixture of money culture and western culture has quickly swept in to fill that gap, especially with the ??? (90s ‘jiu ling hou’) generation. Many girls watch Vampire diaries and various other Western TV Shows with hunky Western guys (no homo) which in turn makes them curious about foreigners. So, being a foreigner (ie. Non Chinese person) in China gets you a huge lift in value, probably due to having native English skills and knowing about the outside world.
The luckiest foreigners are those with blonde hair, big blue eyes, and white skin, since those features are considered extremely attractive by the Chinese. The obvious result is that many guys who didn’t get much play at home suddenly get TONS of play in China. The girls they go for typically aren’t very beautiful by Chinese standards but, regardless of that, most Western guys find socializing here a lot easier simply because many people forgive the retarded mistakes they make. To top it off, a lot of girls want to get a Western boyfriend as he typically earns more than the average Chinese guy and is generally more fun due to having a lot more social experience.
Chinese people (guys especially) study and work extremely hard hence do not have the free time necessary to go chase girls all the the time. Want to know how bad it is? Think 8 year olds with 3 hours of homework each and every night. It really is great being a foreigner in China. The foreigner effect is still quite powerful in Shanghai and Beijing, but it seems to be 10x more powerful in smaller cities. Still, step out of the big cities and your mileage might not be as good – small town girls are a bit more traditional and things move a little more slowly in smaller cities.
4. Open Minded about Sex
China has gone through some changes and a while back sex was a bit of a no no. With the older generation it still kinda is. Even still, at 1.4 billion people they must have been busy. Luckily, because there are so many people here, it is relatively easy to find girls who are experienced or willing to learn. A lot of Asian girls don’t view themselves as very sexual and this is generally the case for most Chinese girls due to a lack of sexual education and the fact that sex is still a pretty taboo thing.
Thankfully with Chinese culture most of what you see on the outside is just a mask while inside is whats real. Those of you who have lived in China and embraced it will get what I mean. This means that behind closed doors Chinese girls are quite adventurous and interested in sex and all the dirty little things that can happen. They mostly know very little about it, though, as their only options for learning about sex are talking to friends or watching porn. This means if you are a Western guy then you probably have more sexual experience than a lot of Chinese girls.
Of course, differences based on the type of girl you go for can be fairly large. From my own personal experiences I’ve found that approximately 1 out of 10 Chinese girls is curious about girl on girl action and generally willing to go all the way with it. In terms of standard guy and girl sex, Chinese girls are curious and accommodating… leading us to the next part.
5. Eager to Please
Chinese girls treat their boyfriends very well, no matter where they come from, and are generally honest and considerate. There are always exceptions and a few speed bumps due to differences in culture and upbringing but, as a general rule, Chinese girls are kind, considerate and caring. The Chinese are told what to do throughout their life by their parents, teachers and then their bosses so they don’t usually get a lot of time for free thinking or making their own decisions. Social pressure is huge, so they feel a lot of pressure to conform to what society/their peers think are the correct things to do. An obvious consequence is that sometimes your girlfriend won’t understand what you want her to do. A lot of girls haven’t dated a foreigner before and readily accept stereotypes about foreigners and what foreigners want… In China, you have to be quite direct about what you expect from her and what you are going to give back. Point her in the right direct, give her a smile and a tickle and it will all work out.
Most girls from big cities, especially Shanghai, aren’t going to cook – they don’t know how to and overwhelmingly prefer having dinner at restaurants. It’s almost a sport here. Ask one to show you traditional food they can have a plate in front of you in a jiffy. Different locations bring different sorts of people. As China is a very big place, the experiences you can have can be quite different from person to person.
Here is a list of things girls have done for me over the years. This should give you a much better idea just how well Chinese girls can treat you:
cooking—always great;
making scarfs—pretty awesome to get as a gift, to be honest;
massaging me—in wonderful places;
Showing me around Shanghai: being shown around by a local can be one of the best ways to experience any city you’re in;
helping me find a vet for my dog—because who doesn’t love puppies?;
teaching me Chinese—Chinese language is invaluable for meeting women here;
introduced me to very Chinese experiences I otherwise wouldn’t have had (fried grasshoppers anyone?)—if you’re in an amazing country, really, what can be better than experiencing many aspects of it?
worked with me to pick up another girl for a threesome—nothing says love like loving two girls at once;
helping me save face in awkward situations—nothing brings out the awkward situations like living in another country; your girl can help you navigate the social world in intimate ways;
Taken me to hospital…don’t want to talk about it;
buying me medicine when I was sick—which made me feel a lot better!;
reminding me to eat more, wear more clothing and avoid getting cancer from various house hold electrical appliances—nothing will cut your dating life short like getting cancer.
There are a bunch more I could add to the list, sexual or otherwise, but I think you get the point. If you treat them right then they generally will treat you very right in return. Chinese girls are pretty easy to get along with, generally really good people and are my favorite girls out of all the different girls in Asia. At this point, it’s pretty obvious why. While Korean girls and Japanese girls are great, nothing tops women from China.
Lastly!
6. Chinese women cook great Chinese food!
Chinese food SUCKS….or is TOTALLY AWESOME depending on who you ask and who is cooking.
Now girls from Shanghai aren’t usually gonna win any awards for cooking…..but girls from other places, oh yeah!
Sichuan food is great, Dongbei food is great, and so are all the others – there’s like 8 different cuisines in China and when you get a talented Chinese girl cooking for you, you’re in for a treat.
Restaurant food usually sits somewhere between crap to average (in Shanghai) and average to good (in Beijing) to fantastic.
Home cooking though is by far the best and I’ve gotten my fair share of it, yes Chinese food can be oily and all that….but the taste is great, one of my favourites is this particular ginger steamed fish.
So if you want to enjoy the great cooking experience of a Chinese girl, find one who isn’t from Shanghai or Beijing, as restaurants in those cities can be great but the girls cooking usually isn’t (it’s because they’re too busy being taken out to the restaurants).
Also as an extension of your ‘Chinese girl’ cooking for you, if you end up going to her house for Chinese New years (Don’t do it unless u wanna get married) you will usually find that her parents are EVEN BETTER at cooking and I can tell you, I’ve gone to my gf’s house on CNY and it’s amazing, I end up leaving 3kgs heavier.
Well, I’m off to impregnate my girlfriend, until next time…
